The World is my Oyster

Friday of last week was the last day I would work at my old job. I don’t miss it. I don’t miss it a whole lot. To celebrate the end of this previous career, I did what anyone who is not a nun, a teetotaler or an anti-social computer nerd with a bizarre robotic animal fetish would do; I went out downtown. A few of us decided to make it a suit night. That way, no matter what happened later on, we would be well dressed. Unless we decided to strip, then I guess we’d just be naked. People tend to ask less questions when your well dressed than when you’re naked, well, unless you lie and tell them you’re a foreign dignitary, then it just gets awkward…nosey broads; never mind what country or why I don’t have an accent! Anyhow, we dropped into the rookery to have a few beers until my fleeting mentality showed up and told me to head to Tic Toc. Since two of the Mactropolis’s favorite bars have been closed, the bar at the Toc has picked up the overflow and it’s seen a good crowd. The remainder of the night would be a mix of Envy, Iguana and Oasis, the memories of which were apparently tossed in a blender at some point, with only the pictures that were taken and a few receipts to help piece together the puzzle.
A friend had a party the next evening that involved kegs and barbeque. Heck yeah I went! I called a cab but arrived late because apparently every taxi in this city is always a half hour from downtown. Full of beer and ambition, I wound up back downtown a few hours later at Tic Toc. It’s was pretty busy but with patience not being one of my strong points and knowing there was a sexy school girls dance contest at Iguana, I didn’t stick around long. At Iguana I immediately found several girls in tiny outfits, dancing on the bar, gyrating on the stripper pools and on each other. I couldn’t help but wonder what their fathers would think...actually that’s a complete lie, I didn’t really care. I was easy prey to the wantonness they proselytized.
I didn’t have big plans for First Friday but it turns out I didn’t need any either. This past FF there were two ribbon cutting ceremonies, one at Meadows Jewelers’ new store on Cotton Avenue followed by one at Envy. I had missed the first at Meadows but made it to Envy. Free drinks are a great idea, even better at six on a Friday. It’s like the happy hour I would have suggested if anyone had bothered to ask me. A Red bull and vodka or six later and if I stuck around much longer, I’d need to have someone write my address on my forehead. I really didn’t need that happening…again. I’d like to say the rest of the evening held some spectacular stories of decadence like Macon has never seen, but honestly, after I got in a back alley fight with some ninjas and delivered a baby in the bathroom, I was just too exhausted to carry on much longer.

I don’t know what has been going on with Mondays lately but it seems every time I head out the door for five minutes, it turns into an all night event. I had been out the evening before to watch the Super Bowl at the Capitol and the evening before that to watch DJ Dirt at the Red Eye, so it’s not like I needed to spend another six hours of my day at the bar. I suppose I just forgot that going out at night isn't necessarily a mandatory obligation...actually I’m still confused on whether it is or not, but I wasn't willing to take that chance. A half-hour at the Rook for a beer and trivia at 6:30 turned into a few hours. I’m not too much of a trivia fan but Tom and Leslie could make a wake a good time. I sucked pretty badly at trivia but I did get lucky and win the halftime show by being the first person to present a quarter from the eighties. Sadly, this would make my day week and wouldn't demonstrate my amazing intellectual abilities whatsoever.